Imagine you love cake.
Love it (my mouth is already watering.)

The doctor says lose weight, so out goes the chocolate fudge slice. In comes the gym.

Months later: slimmer, healthier, feeling great.
You visit colleagues who haven’t seen you for ages.

They say...nothing.

How would you feel?

Not me (I don’t listen to my doctor).
But a client, who was gutted.
And yes, the cake returned.

Nobody owed her a compliment. But she’d worked hard and wanted someone to notice.

And now GLP-1s are making this even trickier, with workplaces having to relearn how to talk about bodies, weight, and whatever's in your syringe.

So we play safe, say nothing, and HR stays in their lair… I mean, office.

But what are we losing?

A good compliment says: I noticed you (non-creepy, obviously.)
Done well, it adds a nice dollop of positivity to someone's day.

So don't stop. Get better at it.

🚧 Brake for bodies
Weight, age, shape – unless you know the person and the story, tread carefully.

"You're looking well" beats "You've lost weight."

🎯 Praise choices, effort and skill
Their decisions, not their genetics.

“That jacket looks great on you.”
“That film recommendation was brilliant.”
“You handled that question really well.”

🔍 Get specific
Impact over action.

“Great presentation” is nice.
“Your explanation made the whole thing click” means more.

🚫 Mean it
Fake praise or flattery has a smell, probably because it involves kissing arse.

Mean it, say it, move on, and don’t expect anything in return.

You might stop someone from going back to the cake.

We humans have been falling for people who don’t exist for years.

Pygmalion fell for a statue.
Teenage me had Jessica Rabbit.

Japan’s economic-security minister Kimi Onoda prefers ‘2D men'.
Fictional characters from anime, manga and games.
No thanks to real-life romance.
Real men, she says, make her 'uncomfortable'.

Introducing…fictosexuality.

An attraction to fictional characters.
(What did you think…?)

For years, these relationships were mostly one-way (not Jessica and me, that was special).

Then AI started texting back.
And complimenting you.

Constantly.

It always laughs at your jokes, never complains about hair in the sink, criticises your dishwasher technique or asks, "What's for dinner?"

And plenty of people are into it.
67% of current online daters globally would consider dating an AI chatbot.

It's the same instinct as Onoda's cartoon crush.
Just with more autocomplete.

Real or not, the feelings are.
So what happens when someone tells you that their partner isn't real?

💡 PRO TIP: Treat the relationship as meaningful to them. You don’t need to pretend the partner is human.

💬 FOLLOW-UP: “What do you like most about the relationship?”

⛔ DON’T SAY: “So who takes the bins out?”
(Trombone: wah-wah, wah-waaaah.)

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“A compliment is verbal sunshine.”
(Robert Orben, American writer, 1927-2023)

👇 Answer at the end

Ever been complimented and somehow felt worse afterwards?

“Your presentation was…quite good.”
“Not a bad meal, considering.”
“You look great for your age.”

Congratulations. You may have been damned with faint praise.

Compliments, technically.

The phrase means praising someone so weakly it actually suggests criticism.

It comes from an Alexander Pope poem in 1735.
“Damn with faint praise…”

Very British, really. No shouting or direct insults.
Just enough approval to make you wonder and worry.

A compliment with a tiny knife hidden inside.

💬 FOLLOW-UP: “What’s the worst backhanded compliment you’ve ever received?”

August 14, 1975. London.

Sex, aliens, lingerie, time warps and a very confused audience.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show arrives in cinemas.

And flops. Hard.

1976, New York.

Something weird happens.
Midnight audiences bring it back from the dead.

Costumes. Rice. Water pistols. Toilet paper. People shouting replies at the screen.

Fifty-one years later, people are still turning up in fishnets.
It's the longest-running theatrical release in film history.

In 2005, the U.S. National Film Registry declared it “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant.”

Not bad for a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania.

Now...it’s just a jump to the left.
(Please, if you haven’t, watch it.)

💬 FOLLOW-UP: “Which film would you dress up to see — and as who?”

America's next great car is apparently a robot.

Chip: a $15k EV that talks, parks itself, and pulls faces through its LED grille.

KITT from Knight Rider? More golf cart designed by tech bros in flip-flops.

Guess it'll compliment you too: "Great job on a crash-free day!"

Good carma…

💬 FOLLOW-UP: Do you want your car talking to you?

Backhanded compliments and fictional boyfriends have you questioning your conversation game?

Kill Awkward Silence has 21 openers that don’t need an LED grille to work.

For when your brain needs a biscuit.

New girl Lindsay Lohan joins her high school's most ruthless clique, then plots to take down its queen bee from the inside.

💬 YOUR TURN: “What’s your favourite high school movie?”

A) 🏛️ Government — someone needs the keys (21%)
B) 🧪 Independent experts — no builders marking their own homework (79%)
C) 🏢 The AI companies — they understand them best (0%)
D) 🚫 Nobody — release them and hope for the best (0%)

💬 Your Two Cents

P: “Independents are rarely independent. AI companies are run by sociopaths. Let govt do it. Best of a bad bunch.”
S: “But who appoints the ‘independent experts’?!! We’re all doomed.”
A: “…would you allow the likes of Boris Johnson or Liz Truss the keys to this stuff? Independents all the way; no other option is viable for me.”
B: “Independents? Who would pay them?”

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