I grew up killing mutants, zombies, and Nazis (and mutant-zombie-Nazis).
Now? Nintendo.

Impossibly cute. Bright colours. Almost zero chance of being sniped by a 13-year-old in a different time zone.

Yet somehow still stressful because my children provide the technical support.

"Go that way."
"Don't press that."
"No! What are you doooiiiiing!!"

Unwanted advice is everywhere – kids, colleagues, parents, friends.
Certain domestic situations that cannot be named...

Most of it comes from a good place.
Still annoying, though.
Disagree, and suddenly you're the difficult one.

Want to protect your sanity (and reputation)?
Don’t shout – T.A.P. out instead.

Keeps you polite, without handing over the controller (or throwing it across the room).

💡 PRO TIP: "Why don't you just…" and "You don't want to do it like that."
Say these a lot? Advice grenades. Do not pull the pin.

⛔ DON'T SAY: "Did I ask?"
Satisfying? Yes. Relationship-enhancing? Less so.

1997 was a year for debuts:

Titanic, Teletubbies, Harry Potter, Aqua's "Barbie Girl", and one small game:

Grand Theft Auto.

Now nearly 465 million copies later, Grand Theft Auto VI gets its release date: November 19, 2026.
Six years and over $1 billion to develop, this is the biggest game release ever.

Gaming is no longer a teenage hobby hiding in a bedroom.

It's a cultural empire. Worth more than film and music combined. Bigger than Hollywood. Bigger than pop.
Bigger than whatever Ed Sheeran is doing with that tiny guitar.

I grew up gaming.

Arcades to Atari, Commodore 64 to consoles.
Countless pixelated deaths that built character (I tell myself).

Now I live in Japan, where gaming means cute plumbers, schoolgirls with swords, dancing mascots, and small dinosaurs throwing eggs — which, according to my nine-year-old, I also do wrong (deep breath and T.A.P.)

People here have rarely heard of the murder-simulators I grew up on.
Everybody's heard of GTA.
Steal cars. Commit crime. Cause chaos. And kill… a lot.

Could be why it's apparently a turn-off.
One survey ranked it the least attractive male hobby.

Maybe that's why birth rates are falling?
After November?

Brace for impact.

“I always advise people never to give advice.”
(P.G. Wodehouse, English writer, 1881–1975)

👇 Answer at the end

“I got pwned by a noob, ragequit, so went on a side quest to buff my XP.”

Translation: “I lost badly to a new player, lost my temper, so did something else to improve my mood."

A $200b industry, so it’s no surprise the language is leaking out.
Films. TV. Work chats. Dating profiles. Probably political speeches soon.
God help us.

A few worth knowing:

Gaming slang isn’t just for gamers anymore.

Don’t get pwned.

Get a full list here.

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Turn headlines into talking points

Unwanted advice is annoying.
Unheard warnings are worse.

Putin wanted Crimea as his trophy, but now it’s raining drones.

Road links hit. Rail links hit. Ferry links hit. Fuel supplies hit.
Power out. Flights cancelled. Queues at the pumps.

For an energy "superpower", this is not a good look.

The danger?

Putin is losing ground, getting older, and surrounded by people unlikely to say, “Comrade, this has all gone a bit tits up."

We talked before about China’s yes-men problem.
Here we go again.
Different dictator. Worse haircut.

His response?

Threats against Western personnel. Drones landing where they shouldn’t. A shadow war of sabotage and arson attacks across Europe.

And the bit that made my tea go cold: Russia quietly updated its nuclear doctrine to allow strikes on non-nuclear states if they’re “supported by a nuclear power".

France. Britain. Ukraine… mmm.

This is drowning-man territory.
A sinking swimmer doesn’t calmly discuss buoyancy.
He grabs whatever’s close and pushes it under.

How much is he willing to drag down with him?

💬 FOLLOW-UP: “How do you see this war ending?”

National Joke Day landed just after Mel Brooks turned 100.

Good timing. Suspicious, even.

The EGOT-winning parody king made The Producers, Young Frankenstein, Spaceballs, and Blazing Saddles – which the AFI just named the funniest film of all time.

He’s still not done. Brooks is returning in Spaceballs: The New One in 2027.
He’s 100!

In Britain, reaching 100 gets you a letter from the King.
In Japan, 100 is the new 70.

💬 FOLLOW-UP: “What’s your favourite Mel Brooks film?

We worried robots would crush us.
Turns out, they may just guilt-trip us first.

“Please don’t turn me off.”
“Two chargers and a motherboard to support."

Emotional blackmail with batteries?

Fresh hell.

💬 FOLLOW-UP: Would you feel sorry for a robot?

For when your brain needs a biscuit.

A sweet, awkward electronics-store worker gets life advice from colleagues who should not be allowed near advice.

💬 YOUR TURN: What’s the worst “helpful” advice you’ve ever been given?

A) 🌱 Yes — my garden is blooming (8%)
B) 😅 Depends — when I remember they exist (45%)
C) 💀 No — my touch brings the plantpocalypse (48%)

💬 Your Two Cents

P: “Houseplants, garden...no matter what I do, they all die. Apart from weeds.”
B: “From green to brown before the screams even start.”

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