Fear.

What’s your biggest?

A hairy spider dropping in your lap? Your partner discovering that box at the back of the wardrobe?
Or… standing at a podium?

Dry mouth, sweaty palms, and slide four flashes onto the screen.

When it should be slide seven.

You freeze.
The old advice pops into your head: “Imagine the audience in their underwear.”
Worst advice ever. Now you’re panicking and distracted.
(Can HR tell? Why am I staring at Steve from accounts?)

After decades coaching nervous speakers, I’ve seen plenty treat that podium like the gallows.
What terrifies them is the mistake.
The slip. The forgotten word. Clumsy pause. That rogue slide that refuses to behave.

Next time panic rises, think of this guy… Barry Manilow.

Not because Copacabana is a karaoke masterpiece (even when I butcher it).

Because, in a famous Cornell experiment, students had to walk into a room wearing an embarrassing Barry Manilow T-shirt.
(The horror. Soz, Baz.)

Mortified, the wearers guessed 50% would notice.

Barely 20% did.

Psychologists call it the spotlight effect.
Your mistake feels enormous because you’re standing right in the middle of it.

Everyone else? Mostly busy worrying about themselves (and their mistakes).

My mantra for nervous speakers:

“Nobody has your script.”

Only you know what you meant to say.

Small mistake = Small reaction.

If the meaning survives, keep on going.
If it doesn’t, correct it once and move on.

Don’t shine the spotlight on yourself.

Unless you’re singing Copacabana.

💡 PRO TIP: Lose your train of thought? Pause for three seconds. Looks thoughtful.

💬 FOLLOW-UP: “Public speaking: thrill or root canal?”

⛔ DON’T SAY: “Sorry, I’m really nervous.”
(Now they’re really looking).

Turn headlines into talking points.

Stage fright is one thing.

“PLAGUE!” tends to widen the eyes a little faster.

Add RUSSIA + LAB + OUTBREAK and suddenly everyone’s mentally back in 2020, washing their hands and learning Zoom.
One lab worker dies in Siberia, and headlines spiral (and bunker prices spike).
Around 200 contacts are quarantined. Trump says they’re looking “very strongly," and social media does what social media does… (sigh).

Teensy-weensy problem, though:

Nobody has confirmed plague.

Russia said all tests were negative.
I know…they did give us dolls hidden within dolls, so maybe we take that with a pinch of salt, but so far — zero cases in Irkutsk.

Meanwhile, in Congo: Ebola.
One of the deadliest outbreaks ever, with over 4,000 dead and a reported case in Kenya. Barely makes page six.

Blame history and geography.

The Black Death killed as much as half of Europe (up to 50 million).
Add a Siberian lab with a generous dash of Cold War paranoia, and the media loses its mind.
While Ebola gets filed away under “tragic, but over there.”

While no one seems to be saying, "Erm, plague? Heard of antibiotics?"

“We have nothing to fear but fear itself... and monsters.”
(Richard Herring, British comedian, 1967-)

👇 Answer at the end.

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Phobia — an intense, irrational fear of something.
It comes from Greek phobos — fear.
But fear of what?

Can you match the phobia to the nightmare?

1. Glossophobia
2. Thalassophobia
3. Coulrophobia
4. Nomophobia
5. Phobophobia

A) Deep water (or what lurks under it).
B) Being without your phone
C) Public speaking
D) Clowns (is it the big shoes?)
E) Fear itself

Answers: 1-C, 2-A, 3-D, 4-B, 5-E.

💬 FOLLOW-UP: What’s the weirdest thing that scares you?
(Hot air balloons for me… small wicker basket suspended under fire? Nope).

⛔ DON’T SAY: “Phobias are just in your head.”
(Well, yeah. That’s where the brain lives.)

Figure ‘retired’ its F.02 robots by training them to jump into a 75-tonne furnace of molten steel.

Backflips, swan dives, thumbs up.
Like Cirque du Soleil meets Terminator 2.
Arnie himself even helped with the send-off.
Figure says they jumped without hesitation.
No fears here.

Forget the gold watch and pension plan.
Somewhere your future HR bot is taking notes.

💬 FOLLOW-UP: Does it bother you watching humanoid bots "die"?

For when your brain needs a biscuit.

Twelve men. One Antarctic research station. One shape-shifting alien. Trust absolutely nobody.

💬 YOUR TURN: What's your favourite monster film?

Last fear of the issue: asking for a favour.

SpeakEasy grows mostly because readers pass it on.
If it’s made your conversations better (or at least funnier), send it to someone who might enjoy it.

Rewards-ish below.

A) 🤷 Fine. I just tell them (71%)
B) 🧮 A few years go missing (6%)
C) 😬 I'd rather not say (6%)
D) 🙃 I joke my way out of it (17%)

💬 Your Two Cents

S: “The years go missing not because I'm being evasive but because I genuinely forget, although my wife has the opposite problem and adds years on! I guess our brain-farts balance each other out.”
T: “I blame the birthday-industrial complex: cakes, candles & cards. Without them, would anyone even ask?”
B: “I'm always surprised how much focus is put on age. I get people need or want to compare, but seriously, who cares?”

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